{"id":177,"date":"2025-12-14T14:50:00","date_gmt":"2025-12-14T14:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/?p=177"},"modified":"2025-12-14T14:50:00","modified_gmt":"2025-12-14T14:50:00","slug":"im-sick-of-santa-getting-credit-i-told-my-youngest-the-truth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/?p=177","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019m sick of Santa getting credit \u2013 I told my youngest the truth"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Jennifer<\/p>\n

\u2018Santa Claus isn\u2019t real?<\/a>\u2019 My seven-year-old, Ada, glared at me, mouth agape.<\/p>\n

\u2018But you emailed him last year and he sent you money to get presents,\u2019 she added. \u2018Was that a lie?\u2019<\/p>\n

I swallowed hard. This conversation, which took place just a few months ago, wasn\u2019t as straightforward as I had anticipated.<\/p>\n

Truth be told, I had assumed she had got the hint about Father\u00a0Christmas<\/a>, the\u00a0Easter Bunny<\/a>, and the like after a Tooth Fairy incident: she\u2019d woken up one morning to no coins then caught me as I\u2019d tried to surreptitiously slip money under her pillows while pretending to fluff them.<\/p>\n

I turned to Ada (who is the youngest of my four kids, aged seven to 14), nodding apologetically. \u2018It\u2019s time you knew,\u2019 I said, then confessed: \u2018Mummy and Daddy are Santa Claus.\u2019<\/p>\n

\n
\"Jen<\/div>
It\u2019s way too easy for parents to erase themselves from the picture at Christmas (Picture: Jen Barton-Packer)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Digesting this disclosure, Ada seemed to cycle through a range of emotions from shock to sadness, until finally, a large smile crossed her face.<\/p>\n

She threw her arms around my neck and whispered, \u2018Thank you\u2019.<\/p>\n

This disclosure set the tone for a confessional evening, with my kids asking me all sorts of questions about my Christmases as a child. I told them that my single mother had immigrated from the former-USSR to New York City and used to shower me with presents.<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t believe some random pensioner in a red suit should get the credit, so would sign her cards along the lines of: \u2018I hope you enjoy these handpicked\u00a0Christmas<\/a>\u00a0gifts I bought you with my blood, sweat and tears\u2019.<\/p>\n

As a child, her candour could be overbearing but it never bothered me much that she was honest about Santa. Most of my friends celebrated Hanukkah instead of Christmas anyway.<\/p>\n

\n
\"Jen<\/div>
Come Christmas, I always forgot which gifts were from \u2018Santa\u2019 and which ones I\u2019d admitted to buying (Picture: Jen Barton-Packer)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Now, as an adult and parent myself, I have a deeper empathy with my mum\u2019s refusal to buy into\u00a0the Santa myth.\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s way too easy for parents, and especially mums, to erase themselves from the picture at Christmas and let someone else get the glory. Sadly, my mother died in 2005 when I was 23, long before I could tell her how much I admired her insistence on getting credit for everything she did for me.<\/p>\n

When my eldest children were very small, and we lived in London where Father Christmas seemed to be an especially big deal, I did try to keep Santa alive for a few years: We\u2019d leave milk and cookies out on Christmas Eve and I\u2019d always address a few presents to my kids \u2018From Santa\u2019.<\/p>\n

Yet even at the time I remember rolling my eyes and thinking, \u2018this is so not me\u2019. I love make-believe games with the kids but I always felt like a fraud playing this particular role.<\/p>\n

\n
\"Jen<\/div>
After parenting for a decade-and-a-half, I\u2019ve learned that I need to do what works for my family (Picture: Jen Barton-Packer)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My oldest two kids found out the truth about Santa the old-fashioned way: one was told by kids with older siblings at school when she was seven and decided to reveal the news to her sister, who was younger by two-and-a-half years, soon after.<\/p>\n

The pandemic bought me a couple of years of grace to keep Santa going for my youngest kids, then five and three, as the man was the last thing on anybody\u2019s minds.<\/p>\n

But come Christmas, I always forgot which gifts were from \u2018Santa\u2019 and which ones I\u2019d admitted to buying, and nearly slipped up dozens of times. So once my third child started junior school, I started dropping heavy hints until she figured it out.<\/p>\n

Finally telling Ada brought relief. I hated not being 100% honest with the kids; now I won\u2019t have to lie again.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a big believer in nurturing open channels of communication with all my kids, whether I\u2019m telling them about Santa or talking to my teens about my humiliating\u00a0dating<\/a>\u00a0experiences.<\/p>\n

\n
\"Jen<\/div>
Overall, ditching the Santa myth has been beneficial for my family (Picture: Jen Barton-Packer)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I think that by being honest and vulnerable myself I can help them foster a healthy attitude to discussing difficult topics.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t expect every parent to tell their kids that Santa isn\u2019t real, either. At school, my younger two keep quiet so as not to spoil it for any other children (in much the same way I hope they don\u2019t repeat swear words they\u2019ve learned from their older siblings).<\/p>\n

Yet after parenting for a decade-and-a-half, I\u2019ve learned that I need to do what works for my family, and not worry if other people find it odd.<\/p>\n

I want my kids to know that \u2018our\u2019 way isn\u2019t the only way (non-Christian kids aren\u2019t taught to believe in Santa) and as we\u2019ve spent the past few Christmases in the US, I wanted them to understand that their holiday is a significant part of their \u2018present\u2019 each year, which means there will be fewer gifts to unwrap under the proverbial tree.<\/p>\n

\n
\"Jennifer<\/div>
I hated not being 100% honest with the kids; now I won\u2019t have to lie again (Picture: Jen Barton-Packer)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Besides, air travel with four kids is a feat unto itself; making room in my suitcase for a stash of secret presents from a fantastical being is not a parenting skill I possess.<\/p>\n

Overall, ditching the Santa myth has been beneficial for my family.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s still plenty of magic in my home: we all love witches and vampires so we curl up on the sofa to watch Netflix\u2019s Wednesday and Julie and the Phantoms.<\/p>\n

And while I won\u2019t pretend my kids are always models of gratitude, I swear they have been thanking me more often recently, appreciating little things I do for them.<\/p>\n

The other week I noticed my 14-year-old running around the house looking for new and unopened presents to make a hamper for a family in need. Sure, it could be because they\u2019re getting older and more mature\u2026 but I like to think it\u2019s because they know the truth now, too.<\/p>\n

\n
Would you tell your children the truth about Father Christmas? Have your say below<\/span><\/span>Comment Now<\/a><\/div>\n<\/section>\n

Crucially, it has also lightened my mental load. I personally believe that the expectations placed on parents during the festive season is far more damaging than telling kids Santa isn\u2019t real.<\/p>\n

Unless parents start rebelling in some way, things will only continue to get more pressurised and out of control (see: Elf on the Shelf, advent calendars, Christmas Eve boxes\u2026 the list goes on).<\/p>\n

I hate the idea of Christmastime making parents feel they\u2019ve failed if a certain gift is too expensive or impractical to make reality.<\/p>\n

In real life, getting the things you want is about determination, working towards your goals, overcoming challenges, failing and picking yourself back up again. That\u2019s the message I want to give to my brood.<\/p>\n

Very rarely do dreams come true just because you\u2019ve written them on a list and gone to bed on Christmas Eve.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2018Santa Claus isn\u2019t real?\u2019 My seven-year-old, Ada, glared at me, mouth agape. \u2018But you emailed him last year<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":178,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-177","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-entertainment"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=177"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":179,"href":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177\/revisions\/179"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/178"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=177"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=177"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/luxuury.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=177"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}